A recent query on the lkml asked for opinions as to what are "the most frightening pieces of the kernel". The many responses offered more humor than fright, with a handful of snippets that prove entertaining to read through. From colorful metaphors, to burning printers, to happy meals...

I suspect there's plenty of other entertaining pieces of kernel code to be shared. What else have you come across in your own kernel efforts that brought you a smile? Please feel free to post some snippets...

From: Maciej Soltysiak
Subject: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 14:25:09 +0100 (CET)

Hi,

I am in a t-shirt transfering frenzy and was wondering which part of the
kernel code it would be best to have on my t-shirt.
I was looking at my favourite: netfilter code, but it is to clean, short
and simple functions, no tons of pointers, no mallocs, no hex numbers, too
many defines used. I was looking for something terribly complicated and
looking awesome to the eye.

How about we have a poll of the most frightening pieces of the kernel ?
What are your ideas?

Regards,
Maciej Soltysiak



From: Jose Celestino
Subject: Re: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 13:26:04 +0000

Words by Maciej Soltysiak [Fri, Jan 03, 2003 at 02:25:09PM +0100]:
> Hi,
> 
> I am in a t-shirt transfering frenzy and was wondering which part of the
> kernel code it would be best to have on my t-shirt.
> I was looking at my favourite: netfilter code, but it is to clean, short
> and simple functions, no tons of pointers, no mallocs, no hex numbers, too
> many defines used. I was looking for something terribly complicated and
> looking awesome to the eye.
> 
> How about we have a poll of the most frightening pieces of the kernel ?
> What are your ideas?
> 

[root@morgoth:/usr/src/linux]# egrep -ir "( fuck)|( shit)" *

and choose.

-- 
Jose Celestino | http://xpto.org/~japc/files/japc-pgpkey.asc
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Don't summarize. Don't abbreviate. Don't interpret." -- djb



From: Matthias Schniedermeyer
Subject: Re: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 15:55:14 +0100

On Fri, Jan 03, 2003 at 02:25:09PM +0100, Maciej Soltysiak wrote:
> Hi,
> 
> I am in a t-shirt transfering frenzy and was wondering which part of the
> kernel code it would be best to have on my t-shirt.
> I was looking at my favourite: netfilter code, but it is to clean, short
> and simple functions, no tons of pointers, no mallocs, no hex numbers, too
> many defines used. I was looking for something terribly complicated and
> looking awesome to the eye.
> 
> How about we have a poll of the most frightening pieces of the kernel ?
> What are your ideas?

egrep -ir "(on fire)" *

drivers/usb/printer.c:static char *usblp_messages[] = { "ok", "out of paper", "off-line", "on fire" };

:-)

Bis denn

-- 
Real Programmers consider "what you see is what you get" to be just as 
bad a concept in Text Editors as it is in women. No, the Real Programmer
wants a "you asked for it, you got it" text editor -- complicated, 
cryptic, powerful, unforgiving, dangerous.



From: Anders Gustafsson
Subject: Re: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 16:03:38 +0100

On Fri, Jan 03, 2003 at 03:55:14PM +0100, Matthias Schniedermeyer wrote:

> egrep -ir "(on fire)" *
> 
> drivers/usb/printer.c:static char *usblp_messages[] = { "ok", "out of
> paper", "off-line", "on fire" }; 

A good explanation of that message by Jesse Pollard can be found here:
http://marc.theaimsgroup.com/?l=linux-kernel&m=102893054014512&w=2

-- 
Anders Gustafsson - andersg@0x63.nu - http://0x63.nu/



From: Rik van Riel
Subject: Re: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 20:58:50 -0200 (BRST)

On Fri, 3 Jan 2003, Maciej Soltysiak wrote:

> I am in a t-shirt transfering frenzy and was wondering which part of the
> kernel code it would be best to have on my t-shirt.

> How about we have a poll of the most frightening pieces of the kernel ?

How about drivers/net/sunhme.c ?

It's not scary, but it is absolutely hilarious, even to
people who don't even know C.

static void happy_meal_tcvr_write(struct happy_meal *hp,
                                  unsigned long tregs, int reg,
                                  unsigned short value)
{
        int tries = TCVR_WRITE_TRIES;

        ASD(("happy_meal_tcvr_write: reg=0x%02x value=%04xn", reg,
value));

        /* Welcome to Sun Microsystems, can I take your order please? */
        if (!hp->happy_flags & HFLAG_FENABLE)
                return happy_meal_bb_write(hp, tregs, reg, value);

        /* Would you like fries with that? */
        hme_write32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME,
                    (FRAME_WRITE | (hp->paddr 
From: William Lee Irwin III
Subject: Re: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 15:39:27 -0800

On Fri, Jan 03, 2003 at 02:25:09PM +0100, Maciej Soltysiak wrote:
> I am in a t-shirt transfering frenzy and was wondering which part of the
> kernel code it would be best to have on my t-shirt.
> I was looking at my favourite: netfilter code, but it is to clean, short
> and simple functions, no tons of pointers, no mallocs, no hex numbers, too
> many defines used. I was looking for something terribly complicated and
> looking awesome to the eye.
> How about we have a poll of the most frightening pieces of the kernel ?
> What are your ideas?

sheer bulk:			include/asm-ia64/sn/sn2/shub_mmr.h
most typedefs:			include/asm-ia64/sn/sn2/shub_mmr_t.h
bizarre (and ugly) idiom:	fs/devfs/*.c
just plain ugly:		arch/i386/kernel/cpu/mtrr/generic.c
really crusty-looking:		drivers/char/*tty*.c
terrifying ultra-legacyness:	drivers/ide/legacy/hd.c
fishiness:			drivers/usb/serial/pl2303.c
why so much code?:		drivers/char/dz.c
highly cleanup-resistant:	mm/slab.c
unusual preprocessor games:	kernel/cpufreq.c
contrived inefficiency:		fs/proc/inode.c:proc_fill_super()

Bill



From: Ranjeet Shetye
To: 
Subject: RE: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Fri, 3 Jan 2003 16:20:43 -0800

I vote for "panic ()" in kernel/panic.c

The panic output makes my heart sink everytime single time.

If only the Linux kernel had something as heart-warming as FreeBSD's
"diediedie ()". :D

Ranjeet Shetye
Senior Software Engineer



From: Maciej Soltysiak
Subject: RE: [STUPID] Best looking code to transfer to a t-shirt
Date: 	Sat, 4 Jan 2003 14:47:46 +0100 (CET)

Thank you all for your suggestions, i found this very entertaining, lot
of laughs i must say. Also the ammount of 'shit' and 'fuck' words totally
blew me off :)

I think i'll put on my t-shirt:
- panic()
- risc logos (on the sides)
- printer "on fire" line (btw. 2.4.20 doesn't have "on fire", just:
  "unknown error", 2.5.54 has it in drivers/usb/class/usblp.c)
- the elegant idle routine - also nice to have. maybe on the back

I'll look also through William's suggestions.

Thank you all very much.
Have a really nice day.

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