Just passing through while looking for something else, but can help:
Aaron  proficuous.com> writes:
> my pf.conf:

quoted text
> ...

> pass in on fxp3 inet proto tcp from $lan_net port { ssh www ntp https smtp

imap imaps domain } to any

quoted text
> ...

> pass in on fxp3 inet proto udp from $lan_net port { domain ntp } to any

These lines are the problem - they are filtering on the source port being ssh,

www, etc rather than the destination port.  You need:
  pass in on fxp3 inet proto tcp from $lan_net to any port { sss www (etc) }

  pass in on fxp3 inet proto udp from $lan_net to any port { domain ntp }
> I am sure this is some configuration error right in front of my face,

quoted text
> but for the life of me i'm not seeing it.  Any help would be appreciated.

No problem - I'm sure that even the gurus have had moments like this :-)
Kevin