So by the way .. the problem was link with pf.conf..

In fact there is something i did not put on my last mail, it is the fact 
i'am using
TWO adsl pppoe link on the same PC. i'm doing load balancing for the web 
access

it's working like a charm ....

So there is TWO tun interfaces : tun0 link with rl0 an rl1 link with tun1...

But ONLY ONE enc0 ... and here is the problem, i try to connect my VPN 
through the tun1 interface

But enc0 is linked with tun0 !!!!! (bad luck .. bad choice.. but then i 
learn something new ..... :-) )

So thanks to the tcpdump output (thanks Christoph Leser ..) i see that 
the inbound traffic came on tun1
but the outside one go through tun0 !!! and that's enough to blow away 
all the process..


So i just change my ipsec & pf settings to listen on tun0 and then the 
VPN came up !
                                                                  

so thanks every one out there for your help.....

PS : is it possbile to start another enc interface on the other tun 
interface ? like enc1 i mean ?

thanks

jc